Upsetting Swans

Yes, today I upset our two local swans, not intentionally I can assure you. 

I went to the local park as normal with my dog and most unusually nobody else was in the .  It’s normally a hive of activity with joggers, children and adults feeding the ducks, geese and swans and people just going for a week 

The lake is still frozen in parts and so I watched a couple of resident swans slip and slide as they waddled across the ice into the water 

Within seconds they had then swum to the bank where I was standing.  They looked up hopefully at me it was then I realised that they expected me to produce a bag of food to feed them . With the park being deserted of people I was their only hope 

I hung my head in shame and carried on with my dog 

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A bit of winter sun

This afternoon I was walking my dog around the waters edge.  The wind was bitter howling around my face and then..

…all of a sudden I came across a sun trap, the wind died totally and I felt the warmth of the winter sun warming my cold face

I love the sun, I am that sad, I will cross to the sunny side of the street on every occasion.  I stand with my face in the warm glow of the sun whenever I can 

I love. ..no need the warmth of the sun as often as I can 

 Yes, I believe this just means i am English. In England we are sun starved and crave it as an addict craves drugs. ..now, where’s that sun?

The man who rotten to death(an almost true tale of horror)

The man who rotted to death

 

Now I am going to tell you a tale, not like any other tale you are going to hear this evening because of one thing, this tale is true and only happened a few years ago.

A few people on this site may know me but you may not know this… a few years ago when my children were smaller I was the area controller for the evening mail, not a very scary profession I can hear you saying.

No its not, but this is about one customer….Bert and his dog called spud. Bert lived not very far from me and I he had been a customer for many many years. It must be said here and now, he was the most miserable and grumpy man I have ever known. I used to knock at his door and he would swear until the air was blue as he made his way to the door with his beloved spud. He may have been a misery but he had two redeeming factors about him, he treasure his dog and was kind to the paper kids, every Christmas he gave the biggest tip in the whole of the midlands to his paper boy.

Again you may say not very scary, well hold onto your hats …here it comes. One day when I knocked he appeared more grumpy than usual, he was also limping. I asked him what was wrong and he explained he had bumped his leg and the wound was not healing.  Being a good soul I suggested he went to the doctors, he chose not to. Each week from then on he would come to the door limping worse and worse and cursing more and more.

The house had begun smell of something rotting, obviously kept nagging him to go to the doctors, he simple said no. You see it had now got so bad he didn’t want to leave his dog and go to hospital. His dog was this grumpy man’s one source of happiness.

Weeks went by, the smell of rotting flesh got worse and worse. Eventually he could not walk, his skin was rotting off his whole body now and leaving a trail of slimy gunk on the floor. He took to his favourite chair, and prepared himself for death.

Oh no I hear you cry, this cannot be allowed to happen, well the doctors were called but he was in sound mind and if he choose a painful rotting to death death, then he was allowed to. I continued to call, just in case he changed his mind and needed me to call someone, you see I was his only visitor, but all I was greeted with each week was a naked man in a chair with a large bottle of whisky and a very loyal dog. At this stage the chair was his home, he couldn’t move, but you couldn’t smell the excrement because the smell of the rotting body was so strong. If you have ever smelt death, this is the smell.

Burt died an agonising death with his dog by his side, I knew he had gone when I passed the house the following day and his chair was in the front garden, a large black hole where he had sat made from his rotting body.

You may have thought how sad, but it never ended then.

It started with a smell that began follow me around, a smell of death. I washed and washed but couldn’t get rid of the smell. People began to avoid me, it was embarrassing.  Customers who used to speak to me, now had their money ready and virtually threw it at me when I answered the door.

Then there was the thump thump noise that started to follow me, it sounded just like the noise bert made with his walking stick in the early days of his illness.

Everywhere I went I heard thump thump…now as you can imagine I was becoming freaked out with this. But it takes a lot scare me and I put it all down to my over active imagination but when I began to leave a gooey sludgy mess of rotting flesh behind me everywhere I went, I couldn’t ignore it anymore, I was being haunted by bert!!!!

Omg I cried as the realisation crept in, as you all ay know I regularly cry OMG….but you may not know this was the first time I ever used the phrase.

I did what every does in that situation, googled “ how to get rid of a ghost” after much searching I found the only way to get rid of a ghost is to find out what it wants. Well I popped of to a shop, picked up a oijee board and asked Bert.

That was scary, my whole house started to smell of death and rotting flesh, as Bert thundered out in his grumpy voice” my dog, where is spud, look after spud or will haunt you forever!”

I had at the time 2 dogs and really didn’t want another one, but what choice did I have, to spend the rest of my life smelling of a dead corpse leaving a gunky trail behind me or own an extra dog. So that’s what I did, I made some enquiries found where spud was in the local rspca and took spud home to meet my other dogs. …I arrived at the rescue centre smelling of rotting flesh, but you will be pleased to know left smelling of nothing.

 

A Little Photo

I have had Deezer for years, its an app to stream music. 

You pay a monthly sum and consequently can download unlimited albums ..and yes, I make the most of it. I have over 350 albums stored on the app. .and now guess what? 

I have an album with a photo on the album cover that I took…get me 😉 Yes, it’s a friends album but hey ho. .it’s a start… here is the band and……cover to check out, 
Public Art by The Light Programme 

Friend for the day

It’s a dogs life

Yesterday whilst wandering down the back streets of Kochi a dog joined us.  He seemed a little thirsty, it was a hot sticky day and we were carrying water, so I found a large leaf that could be used as a bowl and gave him water 

Well that was it,  it appeared we were now proud owners of an obedient dog that followed us everywhere.  He sat outside shops and waited for us then toddled along beside us every step we made 

When we went into the Maritime Museum  I thought,  we will surely loose him now as there were security on the door.  We entered the museum and  less than 5 minutes later, he had entered too and was along side us again inside the museum grounds!  

And quite a little poser he was too,  when a group of men started to take photos of a military plane, he joined them and became a bigger centre of attention than the plane, 

with each group member having an individual photo taken with “Shiva ” , yes by this stage we had given him a name 
So the rest of the day progressed with Shiva along side us, until the evening came. .and suddenly. ..he left us

Too busy to just be

I teach mindfulness amongst the many things I do. 

How to enjoy the moment, live in the present etc.  The last 7 days have been very busy with me working morning, noon and until late in the evening on many days.

It struck me on my last mindfulness group on Saturday how unmindful I had been over the last week.  We open the group my each sharing a “mindful moment” we had experienced over the last 7 days, a moment where we had been fully present and not rushing around on autopilot. 

I struggled to think of one and I am the teacher of the group!  I also teach self compassion, so I could forgive myself. ..but none the less. So a little reminder to myself. ..allow myself to be in the moment.

A photo I took today as I was walking the dog. ..

An audience of one. .. a dog

Friday night was my spoken word event at the Ort, a small bohemian cafe in Balsall Heath.  

It’s not just spoken word,  it’s dance, music, comedy. ..and everything else people wish to do.

Each month I take my dog, this month whist a comedian was on, she became very demanding of my attention which caused the audience much amusement and to pay full attention to her. ..not the comedian on stage. 

Comedians are heckled occasionally, not many by dogs. ..so he did what every comedian in this situation would do…replied to the heckler face on .

So he sat down and delivered his set to my dog!

A dog who was too posh to push

Well almost.  Many years ago we had a dog called Scooby, she had a puppy who we called Buddha and which we kept. 

My children were all growing up and therefore Buddha became the whole families baby. ..wrongly some would say, she was spoilt with huge amounts love and attention

A male dog entered the garden one day and made Buddha pregnant. .

…months later a horrified Buddha began to give birth.  To most dogs this is a natural process, not to Buddha.  Help was soon on hand to deliver the pups.  She took one look at them and left her mother Scooby to bring them up  … 

Many years on, she is still very spoilt and even now, runs a mile everytime a male dog gives her a sniff.

 Below is a rare photo of her with her pups 

A Wet Zebra 

I recently bought a zebra waterproof poncho.  I am going to India in a couple of weeks and it’s still their rainy season.  Do I thought a fun waterproof zebra poncho would be perfect. 

It’s been rather rainy here too, so I thought I would test it in the local park whilst walking the dog.

Off I went,  yes people looked at me.  You don’t often get a lady dressed as a zebra walking a dog in our local park…the rain came down. ..”ha ha I thought,  at least I will be dry!” 

It leaked. ..big time.  The fury  mane on my head, seamed to act like a funnel for rain to run down my back. I became a very wet zebra walking my dog in the local park