A lot of Widowed Army Officers

I must say the American Army is incredibly unlucky.  There is just so many Widowed Army Officers in their forces. And just as an extra note, they all appear to be good looking, young. .well in their 30s and 40s and appear to have no friends!  What a sad state of affairs 

I know this, you see because they keep trying to add me on Facebook! ! At the rate of 3-4 a week 


Downhill On My Bum

This time last year I was in Slovakia for a friend’s wedding.  The wedding party stayed in a hotel opposite in a resort that was used for skiing in the winter months. 

The wedding was going to take place in the afternoon and she encouraged us to go foraging for mushrooms in the ski slopes during the morning. So off 4 of us went up a ski slope 

When I eventually got to the top and looked down. ..my thoughts were,  ” that looks very steep and slippery, best to slide down on my but! ” So I  did! !!

Very quickly I arrived at the bottom of the hill, over brambles, over nettles, over stones I slid. ..down and down and down I went.  The other lady in the group foolishly followed me

Let’s just say my leggings were in shreds and as for my bum. …….

Trolly Trouble 

I knew as soon as I chose that trolley it was going to be trouble. 

It was stuck on another trolley and needed a jolly good shake to free it.  That was just the beginning, from then it was downhill.  The trolley had a strong pull to the left,  even entering the door of Tescos was hard work.

I should have given up then,  but I am not a quitter so I persisted.  Each left turn around a corner needed superman strength. All my power was needed to stop the trolley knocking down perfectly placed rows of food. 

Eventually I reached the checkout, relief ran from my body, that’s when trolley developed a life of itself and moved away rapidly from where I had placed it  …into a young suited  man walking innocently by…

You Will Never Guess What They Did To Me…Mum

These were the words out of my 15 year old sons mouth 7 years ago when he met me after a visit to Lourdes. 

Let me explain,  as a family we drove from the UK to Spain and on route visited Lourdes in France. 

We are not a religious family and entered Lourdes as a curious tourist,  so we did the tourist things including collecting holy water. 

It looked like there were two queues, one for women that myself and my daughters joined and one for men that my partner and son joined. 

The women’s queue was huge, my daughter was uncomfortable at the crying and singing women around us so we left and sat waiting for the the male members of our family. 

I bided my time by reading the guide book that I had purchased. .oh no that’s not the queue to collect holy water in the containers we had bought from the gift shop

, it’s the queue to be blessed naked in a holy bath! 

It was too late to tell them,  within minutes my horrified son came out, “you will never guess what they did to me, mum!”

Please Don’t Come Back

A few years ago on this very day, my children, my friends and I went to lovely Turkey.  One of my favourite countries. 

We settled into our hotel and my friend and I decided to explore our local area. We wondered down a road and saw a delightful cafe, so we acquired ourselves seats and was promptly attended my a lovely older Turkish lady that asked what we wanted.  We smiled and asked for coffee,  to our surprised we were given along with the coffee melon and other fruits. 

How delightful we thought as we enjoyed the offering. 

Our shock came when we asked for the bill. ..”no charge , no charge ” the lady exclaimed, “but please don’t come back,  this is our home!”

Moseley Bog Dog!!

It was a lovely sunny day today and so I took my daughter and dog to the wonderful Moseley bog.  

No long after we started wandering along the wooden path a larger golden retriever joined us. .The next thing I heard was my daughter yelping, the dog had a tight hold of her and was mounting her. I found it very funny until the dog turned it attention to me! And what a powerful dog it was.

Rather alarmed we removed the dog from us and carried on hoping that the dog would go back to its owner.  Worse was to come,  the beautiful golden retriever jumped into the black murky depth of the  bog. The dog was covered in black thick mud and then came rushing full pelt towards.  Oh yes. ..he mounted first Elle and then me, held us tightly in his black Moseley bog ridden paws and covered us in black mud! !!

 I was rather miffed at the owner when we eventually  managed to find him. ..and in turn the owner looked mortified as two mud covered females handed him back his now black dog 

April Fool

I have just been called to the bathroom. “Our dog is becoming that clever, she is going the toilet in the bath!” David exclaimed, “don’t get cross at her, I think she’s trying to  copying us as the bath is next to the toilet. ” I look in the bath and there is a poo in it. 

Now, I am short sighted and I hadn’t put my contact lenses in yet. ..”wow” I exclaim,” she’s never done that before ”

He then picks up the pool,  brown wet paper carefully formed to look like poo, “April Fool! ”

Angry bird

On my daily walk with my dog there now resides a very angry large Swan.  

This Swan arrived a couple of weeks ago and is the only Swan on the lake surrounded by geese  and ducks.

Today whilst I was taking a photo of her I thought she was going to jump out of the water and attack me…our eyes locked each other. I have witnessed her, over the last week chasing and leaping on any bird that upsets her, to the degree she submerges  them fully

 in the lake!