A letter to Amazon 

Dear Amazon, 

I use your services v(regularly.  You deliver me my ink, pens, paper, books and many many many things 

I know that you are reliable and offer a fast sometime same day service. .amazing 

Just one small piece of useful advise that will make your service even faster. ..in fact supersonic!  Stop putting small items in huge, boxes and then they would fit through the letter box !!

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Not For Sharing 

I have never been great at sharing. 

I blame my parents, growing up as an only child everything was just for me.  They even supplied me with my own chair,  knife ,  folk and cup, so I didn’t even have to share cutlery , furniture and glassware. 

Luckily I am getting loads better at sharing, having 4 children has certainly helped but but today brought back old feelings of,” its mine.”….

 ..I walked into the gym and found all the exercise bikes being used. .at 8am!  In the 8 months since signing up to the gym ,that has never happened.  8am is MY time 😉 so I thought,  be grown up about this and go in the pool first, it’s always quiet ish in the morning, horror of all horrors, it was rammed and there was even someone teaching someone someone else to swim in the fast lane due to lack of space !

Enough is enough. .now is action time to find someone to build me my own swimming pool and gym, just for me ! 😉😉

I know where the baby boomers have gone!  

Yes, this may surprise you but I know for definite where the baby boomers have gone. 

They all have made a new year resolution to get fit by swimming  and they have decided to do it at my local gym each and every morning between 8-9am! Fully equipped with swim hats and goggles

They are a very chatty bunch of folks and greatly enjoy standing in little clusters either in the pool or the changing rooms disussing how well their grandchildren are coming on.  The know this because they have seen it on Facebook, some are ĺucky enough to have been sent live footage via social media 

It’s nice to know the older generation are taking a proactive approach to both fitness and being a grandparent 😉

2018 Resolutions 

I have made a new year resolution pretty much every year since i was a child. 

I remember back when I was a young girl writing my resolution on a piece of paper and putting it behind the clock on the mantle piece. .as if this gesture created a magic formula for guaranteed success. 

Each year it’s been the same resolution. .get fit and loose weight.  Each year within days it was broken

Not this year. ..I am changing my age old routine.  This year’s resolution isn’t get fit and loose weight. ..it’s. ..

…lists.  and this task  I excel at.

So, my 2018 resolution is…. each day I write a short list to follow the following day. For example, tomorrow’s list 

 1) get fit

 2) loose weight. .😉

Sods Law 

On many occasions, I have taken an umbrella out and this little law rears it’s head. .no rain 

I decide to walk because I am late for the bus and the bus is even later 

Well, it stuck again this Christmas on a much larger scale.  I took the whole family on am epic Christmas trek to find snow at the one place I thought would be most likely to have it…the foot of Ben Nevis . No snow, not even a flake

Yesterday, I we all drove back to a snow covered Birmingham!  You can’t make it up

A Night of Shockers! 

Last night I went out to a ladies night with some friends.  Now, this isn’t my normal type of thing but it was a friends birthday, so I agreed to go 

I have been to these type of events many years ago so I knew what to expect. But there were quite a few shockers pulled last night that will be remembered for a long time 

Shocker one : the second strip act,  a lovely looking man, very acrobatic, looked rather familiar.  Oh no!  One of my sons old school friend!  It gets worse ,  i think he is the friend who used to call me his second mum mum and hug me!! Some barriers  should never be broken. .this is one of them 

Shocker two : the lady with no knickers that suddenly decided to join our quiet little group and hug everyone,  we have acquired an extra friend it seems! 

Shocker three :  the very enthusiastic young ladies in 7 inch heels , dresses that were barely  on them , that wouldn’t leave the naked men alone being gently removed from the venue by a 6 foot drag queen because they wanted to fight with each other! 

Yes, what a night!

A lot of Widowed Army Officers

I must say the American Army is incredibly unlucky.  There is just so many Widowed Army Officers in their forces. And just as an extra note, they all appear to be good looking, young. .well in their 30s and 40s and appear to have no friends!  What a sad state of affairs 

I know this, you see because they keep trying to add me on Facebook! ! At the rate of 3-4 a week 

Downhill On My Bum

This time last year I was in Slovakia for a friend’s wedding.  The wedding party stayed in a hotel opposite in a resort that was used for skiing in the winter months. 

The wedding was going to take place in the afternoon and she encouraged us to go foraging for mushrooms in the ski slopes during the morning. So off 4 of us went up a ski slope 

When I eventually got to the top and looked down. ..my thoughts were,  ” that looks very steep and slippery, best to slide down on my but! ” So I  did! !!

Very quickly I arrived at the bottom of the hill, over brambles, over nettles, over stones I slid. ..down and down and down I went.  The other lady in the group foolishly followed me

Let’s just say my leggings were in shreds and as for my bum. …….

Trolly Trouble 

I knew as soon as I chose that trolley it was going to be trouble. 

It was stuck on another trolley and needed a jolly good shake to free it.  That was just the beginning, from then it was downhill.  The trolley had a strong pull to the left,  even entering the door of Tescos was hard work.

I should have given up then,  but I am not a quitter so I persisted.  Each left turn around a corner needed superman strength. All my power was needed to stop the trolley knocking down perfectly placed rows of food. 

Eventually I reached the checkout, relief ran from my body, that’s when trolley developed a life of itself and moved away rapidly from where I had placed it  …into a young suited  man walking innocently by…

You Will Never Guess What They Did To Me…Mum

These were the words out of my 15 year old sons mouth 7 years ago when he met me after a visit to Lourdes. 

Let me explain,  as a family we drove from the UK to Spain and on route visited Lourdes in France. 

We are not a religious family and entered Lourdes as a curious tourist,  so we did the tourist things including collecting holy water. 

It looked like there were two queues, one for women that myself and my daughters joined and one for men that my partner and son joined. 

The women’s queue was huge, my daughter was uncomfortable at the crying and singing women around us so we left and sat waiting for the the male members of our family. 

I bided my time by reading the guide book that I had purchased. .oh no that’s not the queue to collect holy water in the containers we had bought from the gift shop

, it’s the queue to be blessed naked in a holy bath! 

It was too late to tell them,  within minutes my horrified son came out, “you will never guess what they did to me, mum!”